Lately I've been realizing that there are a lot of people that just aren't like me. I know, you're reading this and thinking, "duh!" I admit it sounds so obvious and probably should be. And yet, it has been so striking. I guess I sort of expect that the things that would make me happy are the things that would make anybody/everybody happy. It is hard to imagine that people can want such different things. For instance, I have a couple married friends who's spouses are very busy and not around much (usually work related). I look at that and feel like there's no way they can be doing well. I would be so miserable. But...it works for them. I don't know how; it just does.
I spoke on the phone with my best friend Nen today. I adore her. Besides Kevin and my family, she may be the person who knows me the best. Not because we keep in the best touch or jabber on the phone for hours, but just because she "sees" me. She understands me. I read her live journal almost as religiously as she writes in it. Her life is so different from mine. Her dreams, her current situation, her idea of fun,... Sometimes I can't believe that two people who are such dear friends can be so different.
When people talk about going crazy when their husbands retire I just can't understand that. To me that sounds wonderful. I need to have company (not only that I enjoy it, but I don't function as well on my own); I am not the kind of person who needs solitude once in a while. They say, "Just wait until you're there; you'll feel differently," because that is how they feel/think. But I won't. I will still feel this way because that is who I am.
This is where the world goes wrong. We all think that we all think the same. My life is better because I don't have cable (I get about 4 stations and we have to move the antenna for each one). My next door neighbor is flabergasted by this idea. "What do you do?!?!" his astonished 12 year old son asked me. Because one country has McDonald's we think that all the countries would be excited to have one. It's as if they think that because a few people crave chocolate ice cream then that should make everyone happy. Well, I don't like chocolate ice cream. Although I guess they already figured that one out because Baskin Robbins makes 31 flavors. Anyway, I don't know if this makes sense at all. I certainly don't pride myself on being very articulate (that is usually where Kevin saves me).
Maybe this just goes back to my need to be special (refer to Enneagram personality type 4). In any case I think we all just need to be okay that there will be things/people in this world that we will never understand. And that's okay. We can love them anyway.
1 comment:
Hahahaha. I've learned that lesson, too, but it's one of those things that's easy to forget... and when I do, I have to re-learn it. Again and again and again.
We are definitely different in the outward manifestations of our lives, but I think the reason we are friends is because, fundamentally, our hearts are the same. That's why I've always felt that - despite time, distance, lifestyle, etc. - when we get together, it's like we were never apart.
Still, it's nice sometimes to meet someone who IS totally different in every regard, but who you have an affinity for anyway. It reminds me of a great quote from A River Runs Through It (which I have never seen in its entirety):
"Each one of here today will at one time in our lives look upon a loved one who is in need and ask the same question: We are willing help, but what, if anything, is needed? For it is true we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don't know what part of ourselves to give or, more often than not, the part we have to give is not wanted. And so it those we live with and should know who elude us. But we can still love them - we can love completely without complete understanding."
I think that's beautiful.
You are too. Love and miss you.
xxoo, NEN
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